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The Green Lantern Movie Review Thread
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Re: The Green Lantern Movie Review Thread
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kosh62
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Jul 5 11 10:05 AM
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THE BEST SCENES FROM GREEN LANTERN:
http://www.toplessrobot.com/2011/06/topless_robot_presents_the_best_scenes_from_the_gr.php
Newly Unemployed Man:
Hal Jordan, you needlessly cost us our jobs, apparently just to be a dick. We are going to beat you up outside this bar.
Hal Jordan:
Hyah!
(tries to throw punch, ends up throwing giant green fist; men go flying into walls and car windows)
Newly Unemployed Man:
Really?
The first use of your superpower is going to beat several men who you got fired unconscious?
Hal Jordan:
Guess so!
Newly Unemployed Man:
Christ, what an a-hole.
(falls unconscious)
***********************************
Parallax:
HEY, HECTOR.
Hector Hammond:
Hey, Parallax.
Parallax:
I AM GOING TO OA TO EAT EVERYBODY. WHAT ARE YOU UP TO?
Hector Hammond:
Well, you made me evil, so I'm going to !@%+ around with Hal Jordan and Blake Lively because of some tenuous connection in our past that the movie only alluded to like five minutes ago,
Parallax:
OKAY, COOL. HEY, HAL JORDAN WEARS THE RING OF THE DUDE WHO IMPRISONED ME, RIGHT? I THINK I'LL COME TO EARTH, EAT HIM AND ALL OF HUMANITY, AND THEN I'LL BE POWERFUL ENOUGH TO GO TO OA AND DEFEAT THE GUARDIANS AND ALL THE GREEN LANTERNS!
Hector Hammond:
...
Parallax:
WHAT.
Hector Hammond:
...doesn't that mean you
aren't
powerful enough to defeat the Guardians and Green Lanterns right now?
Parallax:
WELL, YES.
Hector Hammond:
So... why were you going to Oa?
(pause)
Parallax:
OH ##*%! I SEE WHAT YOU MEAN! I WAS ABOUT TO GET MY ASS KICKED!
Hector Hammond:
Yeah, you were!
Parallax:
I'M SO GLAD I CALLED!
***********************************
Hal Jordan:
Guardians! I'm ready to be a hero now! Parallax is heading to Earth! And we don't have much time, because the movie is like 6/7ths over!
Guardians:
Okay... what do you want?
Hal Jordan:
I want you to send all the Green Lanterns to Earth to fight Parallax!
Guardians:
(pretending to think)
...nah.
Hal Jordan:
Really?
Guardians:
Really.
Hal Jordan:
Well, let me fight on Earth's behalf!
Guardians:
Huh?
Hal Jordan:
I said, let me fight on Earth's beh--
Guardians:
We know what you said. But
did we ever tell you you couldn't fight for Earth?
Hal Jordan:
No.
Guardians:
Actually, have we told you anything, ever?
Hal Jordan:
No.
Guardians
:
Have we ever appeared to have given the tiniest s**t about you, even when you quit the Green Lantern Corps but still took your Power Ring with you?
Hal Jordan:
Not really.
Guardians:
So why would you ask us permission to fight for your own planet?
Go ahead. Knock yourself out.
Hal Jordan:
Oh. I guess... I guess I'll be going then.
(flies back to Earth)
Guardians:
Christ, what an a-hole.
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