So my mother calls while my wife and I are watching American Idol. Forgive my Apachedug dialog format.

Mom: Small talk
Me: Small talk
Mom: So what are y'all doing?
Me: Oh, just watching American Idol.
Mom: Oh, yeah, I forgot that was on tonight. Did you see where one of the guys (David Hernandez) used to be a stripper?
Me: Yeah, Elizabeth was just telling me about that.
Mom: I heard that they could kick him off, but probably wouldn't.
Me: They didn't. He just performed.
Mom: They said he was lap dancer.
Me: image
Mom: What's that?
Me: Uh...that's where they dance in front of you and rub up against you.
Mom: image
Me: Not really something you want to explain to your mom!
Mom: (Akward silence) Uh, I'll let you go. I know you're watching your show.
Me: OK, talk to you later. Love ya. Bye.
Mom: Love ya. Bye.
Elizabeth: Did you just explain a lap dance to your mom?
Me: Um-hmm.
Elizabeth: imageimageimageimageimageimagehysterical crying from laughingimageimageimageimageimageimage


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